Carnage's Band Geeks
by Roth Prime
Summary: This is a marvel parody of the SpongeBob episode 'Band Geeks' and the title just speaks for itself, enjoy!


Carnage was sitting in his house and he was making paper origami. Then a knock was herd he then got up and opened the door he then saw a nurse standing there, she said "We got reports of a dying dog around your area''

Carnage then slammed the door then the phone rang he picked up the phone and said "hello you reached the home of an untalented villain please leave a message after the" Carnage then scratched his claws on his wooden table.

"sounds like you got a dying dog in your area ah old chum?" said Loki

"Loki from band class?" Carnage queston.

"I hear your playing the fast food biz now." Said Loki

"Um..sometimes, how is that spear of power going?" Carnage asked.

"It's big and voluble, I'm the leader of a big band of villain's now and we're going to play in Times square next week."

"Times squar- Times squar- Times squar-."

"That's right" Loki said "I'm living your dream Carnage, the problem is my band is bissy and can't come, so I was hoping that you and your band of villain's can cover for us."

"Um…I-I-I..um."

"I know it you don't even have a band, so I'll just let you get back to the origami-"

"HOLD IT! it just so happens that I don't due origami, that I due have a band of villain's, and we're going be at Times square, How due you like that Mr. demi-god?"

"Good luck next Tuseday, I hope the audience brings lots of demozon…" Loki hangs up.

Carnage then hanged up the phone and then said out loud "I got to drum up a band fast. Drum…hehe…band hummer.

Later in New York Villain's start noticing flyers.

"Looking to add excitement to your dull, dull life?" reads Blackheart.

"Then become apart of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit New York City." read Doctor Doom.

"And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know." Reads Mystique.

"Not to mention free refreshments." Reads Magneto on the toilet.

"Practice begins tonight 8:30 sharp" reads the Hobgoblin.

Carnage looks at his watch while driving a music cart loaded with instruments. "Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, hehe more band hummer."

Carnage walks into town hall and everyone there are 'talking' to each other in the language of 'blah.'

"Villain's, Villain's settle down! Ok now how many of you have played a musical instruments before?" asked Carnage

"Due instruments of torture count?" asked Dr. Doom.

"No" Replied Carnage

"Is mayo an instrument?" Asked Rhino

"No, Rhino, mayo is not an instrument." Rhino lowers his hand, then raises his hand again "Horse radish is not an instrument neither." Rhino lowers his hand. "That's fine nobody has experience. Fortunately I have enough talent for all of you" Carnage laughs at his 'joke' which everyone else in the hall didn't find funny, nor clever.

"When due we get the free food?" asked Magneto

"Ok, try to repeat after me." Carnage plays 6 notes. "Brass section go."

The brass section which consists of Hobgoblin, Doc oc and Shocker repeats. "Good. Now the wind." The wind section which consists of the Lizard, Blackheart and Mystique repeats "And the drums." The drum players which consists of Venom, Sandman and Kraven the Hunter misunderstood what Carnage means and they blow on their drum sticks which blow out of there mouths and stick to the Wall, and Carnage's Symbiote's the only thing that the drum stick's hit and the wall too. "Too bad that didn't Kill me."

-Five minutes Later-

"Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five."

"Is this the part where we start kicking?" asked Venom

"No Venom, that's a chorus line." Replied Carnage

"Kicking!? I want to do some kicking!" Rhino turns and kicks Blackheart in the lag "Ow…Why, you!" Blackheart then jumped at Rhino then turned in to a dust cloud that left town hall. When they left Rhino gave a huge bloodcurdling scream there was a long pause, then Rhino then stuck his head through the door and said "Who ever is the owner of a black van, your front right wheel is deflated." Rhino walked in with his head and torso separated by a trombone, his head in the horn. Rhino walks in and plays a tune with a series of A and B-flats, Rhino takes a seat and he plays a loud blare as the trombone stick goes down and opens his mouth then when the note is over he looks down with his head straight.

With day two starting the band is walking down 5th avenue playing

Okay, that's perfect everybody. Times square here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay turn. Flag twirlers, lets go. I want to see some spinning. Flag twirlers lets move! C'mon move!" The flag twirlers which consists of Tumbstone and Shocker begin to spin at top speed upon doing so they fly into the air and explode when running into a blimp. The trumpet player plays "Taps" and Carnage lies down on the street, curled up in a ball.

-Day Three-

"How's that harmonica solo coming, ?"

"It's tremendous! Ya wanna see?" Doom runs to his giant harmonica of doom and plays the first note, and runs along and plays another note, then runs down and plays three notes at the same time. He grows tired and walks slowly to another note but this time he has trouble playing it and falls down and with saliva flowing from his mouth.

-Day Four-

"Well, this is are last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began…" said Carnage

Saber Tooth is chewing on a trumpet.

"…but I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?"

"CORRECT!" replied Magneto.

"So if we play loud people might think we're good. Everybody ready?"says Carnage

Everybody gets their instruments ready.

"And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!"

The sound imiting from the instroments was so loud that it woke up galactus "Huh?"

Carnage's face is deformed like a Picasso panting, his symbiote is splattered on the wall behind him, and his wand for the direction of music breaks in half.

"Okay, brand new theory….. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us."

"Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some Villain's didn't try to play with big, metal, tentacle's" yelled Mysterio.

"What did you say, punk?!" said Doc oc

"BIG, METAL, TENTACLE'S!" yelled Mysterio

"Well, these tentacle's ain't just for extra help around the lab." Yelled Doc Oc

"Bring it on old man, bring it on." Yelled challenging Doc Oc

"No people. Let's be smart and bring it off." Said Venom

"Oh ho, so now the black boy is going to preach to us." Said Hobgoblin

Everyone begins to argue.

"Wait, wait. I know tensions are high." Said carnage

Before Carnage could get another word in everyone gets into a fight.

Magneto and Hydro-man are yelling at each other until Bullseye slams a drum on Magneto.

"There's a deposit on that equipment, people!"

Everyone is now using their instruments as weapons. Doc oc and Mysterio charge with clarinents like joust but they slow down as Juggernaut slams them with cymbals.

"Settle down, please." Yelled Carnage

Blackheart and Scorpion get into a fight until Scorpion's xyhophone by chopping it with a drum stick and he runs away. Rhino who hadn't leard from the last time, runs up and kicks Blackheart. Blackheart glares at Rhino, Blackheart grabes a trombone and runs at Rhino. scrams and runs away.

The clock sounds at 10:00 and everyone stops fighting.

"Hay, class is over!" said Hydro-man

Everyone walks to the door making up with each other on their fight until Carnage slams the door open.

"Well, you did it. You took my one chance at happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I gess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't both showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks, thanks for nothing."

"You're welcome." Said Rhino.

"What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him. Carnage's always been there for us when it was convenient for him. Doc oc when you we're robbing a bank, what helped you rip in to the vult?" asked Venom

"My tentacles." Replied Doc Oc

"And Kraven when you needed poison for you darts, who did you get it from?" asked Venom

"A poisonus spider." Replied Kraven

"Right! So if we just pretend that Carnage was tentacles, or a spider. Then well see what it truly means, to be in a Marching Band."

"Yeah, for the spiders!" yelled Mysterio.

Everyone cheerd.

"Now let's make Carnage proud. A-one, A-two, a-skiddleydiddleydoo." Said Venom

-Next day at times square-

"I knew this was going to happen. They're just gonna have to find a new band to play. I just hope that…"Carnage stopped

As if on cue Carnage spots Loki "…LOKI DOESN'T FIND OUT! LOKI! AH! What are you doing here?"

Loki laughs. "I just wanted to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?"

"Um, they couldn't come. They… died in a plane crash."

"Then who's that?" asked Loki pointing past Carnage. "AH! THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!"

"We're ready to perform, Carnage." Said Red Skull

Well, Cletus, this is exactly how I pictured your band with look." Said Loki

Venom dance while flicking his tongue back and forth.

"That's his… eager face." Said Carnage

Loki laughs as they all go into Times square.

"Well I guess this is the last time I can show my face in this city."

"That's the sprit Carnage!" said Venom as the platform raises from the sewers to the streets of times square.

"Ok, football fans. Put your hands together for the New York Band of Villains!"

The crowd cheers as the platform stops in the middle of the Roads.

These are some ugly looking people." Said Rhino.

"Maybe we're one of those toxic waste bumps." Replied Zemo

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Said Omega Red

"Ok, everybody." Carnage said nervously. "Let's get this over with. One, Two, Three, Four…"

YouTube: Spongebob Bubble Bowl Song

A/N: I hoped you guys liked it!


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